Sometimes, couples may delay marital therapy because one or both of the partners has fears about what to expect from counseling. It is important to realize that the therapist is a neutral facilitator . As a therapist, I won't take sides, my goal is to support the couple in accomplishing their goal. I often ask "Why are you hiring me?" That way, the couple, not an outsider , defines the outcome. If you are hearing "you're not listening to me", or "you are so angry with me",