Co-Parenting
Following a divorce, both parents need to play a significant role in the life of their children. Co-parenting helps teach the parties how to be good parents and to look after the best interest of their children.
Parenting Coordination
Vicki is a trained and experienced Parenting Coordinator. This role is used to help facilitate productive post-divorce communication and problem solving.
Parenting Coordination is a child-centered process. Many parents chose to have a PC so that in the event problems arise they will have a plan established to keep the routine of their children moving smoothly. Some parents are court ordered to have a PC and many attorneys recommend that their clients use PC’s before coming back for modifications.
Parenting coordination is a practice which utilizes concepts, methods, and processes from a family systems approach to assist parents after divorce to communicate more effectively when issues regarding their children arise.
Parent Coordinators may:
- Identify dispute issues and help reduce misunderstandings
- Clarify priorities
- Explore possibilities for problem solving
- Develop methods of collaboration in parenting
- Decrease conflict
- Assist with parenting training
Case Example:
Susan and Tim went through Collaborative Law to get their divorce. They had two children, the oldest child was five and the youngest child was three. Since the children were so young there would need to be adjustments in the parenting plan. As they grow older they would add school schedules, school activities, new friends, step-parents etc. There would also have to be regular discussions about money for growing needs of the children.
They agreed to have a Parenting Coordinator so there would be a resource for them to problems solve. If they could agree on changes and arrangements with the Parenting Coordinator they would not have to involve the attorneys each time a difficult discussion developed. As the Parenting Coordinator we met at my office on an as needed basis.
We met once to discuss a $75.00 monthly addition to child support, another time we met to determine if the children would go to private pre-school and how the tuition would be paid, and once because of a trip the father wanted to take the children on and mom thought the boys were too young to be gone for five nights.
Each of these meetings ended in a satisfactory resolution to the parents. Each parent had to give and take, but overall the outcome was productive and they did not stay in conflict.
Other Adult Family Members
As a Parenting Coordinator I have met with grandparents and step parents so that the lives of the children would move without as much stress from home to home.
Becoming a step-parent is a lot of work and there are not many resources to help you learn what the role will entail and how to go about being a good step-parent. I have worked with many family systems which include step-parents. Integrating a new step-parent takes time and lots of work. Educating a step- parent about their role, realistic expectations, and communication with their step-children can help a step-family reduce stress and be very successful.
There are many ways to utilize the skills and knowledge of a Parenting Coordinator. Please contact me if I can answer any questions you may have about how the role of PC can help your family.
